Are You a Hostage to Your Fears?
By Dr. Deborah Musso
“Where fear is allowed to reign, dreams are left to die.“
Everyone feels afraid at one time or another, but to have everything we want in life we have to push through our fears and do what needs to be done. I know it's sometimes scary to even think of doing things that scare us - but what is even more frightening is to think about coming to the end of our time on this planet having never watched our heart's greatest desires realized. We must free ourselves from the constraints of fear, and allow our dreams to fully manifest.
In case you have not considered it previously, as human beings we really only have two fears. Interestingly enough, these fears are discovered at birth and are part of the score we're given for development at birth (APGAR). Those two fears are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Guess what? This is great news for each of us because every other fear is LEARNED throughout our lifetime. If it is learned (yep, you guessed it) it can be unlearned. It just takes training and determination. You can certainly muster those fears, right? And know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am with you every step of the way. We're in this game called life and we're in it to WIN it!
Liberate yourself from fear. Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." This quote states the problem and the solution. We must stop running away from things that frighten us, face our fears head on, and do the thing we fear the most.
Most of the time we'll find out that the "thing" was not that scary after all. Our imaginations had behaved like a super fertilizer and grown a grotesque monstrosity in our minds. Remember, our imaginations are incredibly powerful. They can work against us, creating horrible images that leave us paralyzed with fear. But they can also work for us, building a world where everything we do is an adventure, a miracle. And the most amazing thing is that we hold the power to control our minds - we allow fear to dominate our lives or we choose to dominate fear. Those are our only two choices.
Problems are good, not bad. Welcome them and become the solution. In closing this week, I'd like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:
What is it that you fear the most? Before you can eliminate fear from your life you'll need to identify exactly what it is that you fear. It may only be able to come up with a few. Or you may need to buy a few notebooks to make your list. Whatever they are, and however many you have, it is up to you to name them and begin to delete them - one fear at a time. How do you conquer fear? There's only one way - "do the thing you cannot do". Scary, but very necessary.
To begin to liberate yourself from fear take out your journal or notebook (or notebooks) and ask yourself these questions over and over again for each fear until you get to its core.
- What am I afraid of?
- Is this a fear I want to overcome and delete from my life?
- Am I allowing this fear to keep me from achieving my dreams?
- If I did the thing that I fear what would happen to me physically?
- What would happen to me mentally?
- Would the opinions of others matter to me if I did this? If so, why?
- What's the worst thing that could happen if I did this? Could I live with this outcome?
- What's the best thing that could happen if I did this? Would this outcome make me happier than I am right now?
- Imagine it's your last day on earth. As you review your life is this fear going to haunt you? Will you say: "I wish I had overcome this fear. I wasted years of my life allowing this fear to control me."?
Your answers to these questions - especially number 8 - will determine whether you should proceed to take action to eliminate each fear from your life. When the positive results outweigh the negative possibilities you'll know you need to destroy the fear - or it will destroy your dreams.
I invite you to share your answers with me to the above 9 questions via email at my private email address: drmusso@seachangeny.com. I have found in my life that sometimes just sharing my answers with my personal success coach helps me in clarifying my fears, plans, and true desires. I can gain a different perspective from her comments, directions, and ideas. It's nice knowing I'm not alone as I move into uncharted waters. I am here for you and want to assist you in living maximally! I'll go the distance with you --guaranteed!
You're also invited to our very first Stress-Free Success Mastermind Team which will meet Tuesday, August 1, 2006 at 7:15pm. During this hour together we will delve head-on into the world of success and what defines success. We'll individually answer questions that will help hone our success barometer and we'll uncover strategies to make wild success our pattern for optimum living! Please bring your closest friend or confidant with you. Success is never a solitary journey. Your guest does not have to be a member of our Sea Change Wellness community. Who would you like to invite? If there are friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, or other people in your life that you'd like to invite -- that's perfect! Refreshments will be served and fun and growth will be had.
Thanks for the opportunity to share with you today. I am privileged to be your wellness coach and friend. Thank you! I can't wait to see you this week.
Haven't been checked in awhile? Email me at info@seachangeny.com or call 212-889-7300 for your very special gift of a complimentary re-evaluation (a $100 value)! Hurry though, I'm only giving away 5 of these very special gifts within the next week (by 7/13/06).
Living ABUNDANCE,
Dr. Deborah Musso, Director
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